I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
