that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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