Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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