Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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