i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
