I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
