ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
