so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
