I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
