you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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