Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
