Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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