Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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