In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
