i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
