i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The Olympian is in my bed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
