just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
