I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
