you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He passed out mid-signature
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
