dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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