it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
