omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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