I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
