even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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