i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
