So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
