JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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