forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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