That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
