awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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