some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
