i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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