I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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