Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
