Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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