why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
