So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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