thus making me awesome and them whores
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I AM VODKA MAN
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
