Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
