I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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