it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
