It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
