Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
