she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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