Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
