I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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