but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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