I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I will pee on everything he values.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
