Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
