Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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