They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
